Goodness could just b an illusion¡K

Satisfaction could just come at a price of oblivion

U think is nice? Don¡¦t b fooled!!!

Do not ever b blind unless you have no balls +_+or spectacles

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...PArtLY accurate discription....but where iz him?

The other day i was alone in my room wif my Korean roommate she asked me curiously 'ingRid do u like me as a roommate??' i replied her with a pause....'....of course i do...we all love u....' I smiled crookedly..

the other day.....we were shopping my friend tried on dis skirt and asked me excitedly 'how do i look??'...I couldn`t look her in da eyes....'U look gREAT! it realli suits u....brings out the CURVES in u.....'

hmm...I wonder why I lie every day!!! I was taught lying is sinful and if I lied I would go 2 hell....so I guess I have visited hell twice in dis case!!

Why is it dat I can't speak the truth? Why is it I can't speak my own my mind in dis supposedly free society?

I guess I don't wanna hurt my frenz feelings....

perhaps I m just 2 lazy 2 confront them with da truth ...eg: getting in2 a biatch fight, or tryin 2 find pretty words 2 decorate da ugly truth.... I mean a simple lie saves so much more trouble....hmm when iz it dat laziness overcame my freedom of speech..?

Or r u simply paid 2 tell lies....a shoe shop assistant for Ferragamo from reader¡¦s digest confesses I say..`they look lovely...` `They are beautiful..` To every client..

so da choices iz clear......

"Am i gonna LIVE in hell?" (Full of enemies and unemployed)or "GO 2 HELL?" (If da bible is correct....gee...never wanna die)

I wonder wot it would b lyk if I just spoke wotz on my mind...

'IngRid do u like me as a roomamte?'....." i hate how u leave kimchi and spam  in da fridge makes our room smell lyk dead FISH!!! I hate ur laughter hate da way u talk on da fone!! (she laughs lyk thunderstorm and not 2 mention her mega phone volume voice) i HATE.how u r sooo inconsiderate..cooking food in da middle of da room ....i hate how ur bf walk around our tiny room wif onli a towel..." Shouting my anger in2 her face my words bursted out of my mouth wif flames...

'How do i look in dis skirt?" " why did u pick up dis skirt at da first place? iz lyk 10 sizes too small for ur obese body!! people over 60kgs are not suppose 2 b seen!! dat iz why i try 2 stay in my room as much as possible.....dat skirt just makes ur fat body even fatter then it actually iz!! 4get dis skirt!! we will buy u a better dress at da maternity section....!!!" while i tear da skirt in 2 tiny pieces wif da help of my teeth

i guess da truth doesn't have 2 involve rudeness and anger....well iz just me cynical me!! But I do not know how telling a person abt their body and their living habits could ever sound NICE? I guess I just need 2 find da balance between "lying" and "supportive".....*sigh*

but in da end......I fink people don¡¦t wanna hear da truth n e way.....there are only three reasons people asks questions...
1. They seriously have no clue

2. They want thier doubts to be denied or answered ......
Eg: if my roommate iz doubtless dat she iz being a fair roommate she wouldn¡¦t ask me....if my fren was confident wif her obese body she wouldn¡¦t asks me whether she looks good...

3.There should b another reason...otherwise y do we tok so much...??

I guess all of us can b insecure at times...and Datz wot frenz r for......to give da support thus 2 b a LIAR!! Well!! If I had 2 lie 2 make my frenz feel secure then I guess.....I will remain as a BIG FAT liar kekekek...My sarcasm would remain though so sense da TONE!

¡§Is a game of deceit" Burton from "Survivor"......did I tell u guyz how hot he iz??

'Beauty??'

iz dis beautiful?

I hav 2 admit I m da vainest person on earth....people who noe me would noe...i m inseperable from my mirror..during phone talks...shopping spree....lectures...i hav 2 look at da mirror every so often.....dad once said if u ever lose Ingrid in a shop u wud b able 2 find her where da mirror iz.....i look at da mirror constantly iz lyk a disease......perhaps i m hoping 4 a miracle to happen....dat suddenly i would become more beautiful n i dun wanna miss dat sudden glimpse of a more beautiful me....!!! or maybe i m just so adorable looking at me wud make ppl happier including myself...-_-! i guess i just hav low self esteem....

wotz beauty? many female n i spend da whole of our life trying 2 answer dis question...da answer iz unclear..a girl dat david(a fren who lyks giving every pretty girl he sees a mark) would give an A to, we wud prob onli give a C....eversince i was young....mum has told me 'beauty comes from da inside'....n u read from pplz xanga n books 'beauty iz skin deep...' 'innert beauty iz more beautiful'.....i hav always refused 2 adapt 2 dis belief...maybe i just wanna believe dat there iz a perfect person somewhere..perhaps i just didn't understand....

recently accidentally...I had a glance at wot beauty isn't.....

da first time i met my X...i thought he was SOOOOooooooo good looking here cums my '3 8' nature.....square jawed....well build....n very tall....i thought 2 myself dis is one of da hottest guyz i hav met in melbourne.....

blinded by LUST i failed 2 look beyond hiz beautiful exterior.....as da craze faded.. i had 2 learn the other not so beuatiful him.......arrogant, slef righteous, unfaithful, disloyal, slefishness....all rolled in 2 one.......

recently a fren mentioned hiz name..............da first image da appeared in my mind was a poo wif bugz crawling out of it.......i was surprised by my own reaction.....

 beauty is still a mystery...but ugliness could certainly...come from da inside......or perhaps  i just need 2 learn to hav a more beautiful heart so dat i could c da beautiful side in everyone beyond da appearance..at least!!

but i hope if n e one ever fink of me....i m not dat piece of poo!!i strive not 2 b....